I recently attended a friend's bridal shower. Having not been to one in a year, I was looking forward to the standard games: bridal bingo, crossword puzzles focusing on love and cake, and of course, the free food.
|"I bet you all can't wait to watch me look surprised as I open gifts I pre-registered for!" |
(See? I bet you think I'm being rude...sarcasm doesn't translate to bridal showers.)
This side note is important because once I got to the bridal shower I had one glass of red wine. That one glass was enough to rev up my sarcasm of which my table enjoyed but maybe not some of the other girls.
|You don't even know me and you get that this is CLEARLY NOT ME after 1 glass of wine. Of course, I WISH, but even a genie in a bottle would topple over at that request.|
|Me = after 1 glass of wine. Red or white has the same effect. |
Where are those pigs in a blanket at?
ore (which i kept repeating that those 3 letters made me think of oreos)
As I shouted out our 'finds' there were some faces of confusion and rolling of the eyes.
2. Bridal questionnaire. My friend loves purple. And I appreciate a love of color. So when it came time to answer what the bride's favorite color is...I screamed,"ORANGE!" To which a bridesmaid said,"Why would you say that? It's not orange!" It was as if my sarcasm got 'the hand to the face.'
|Bridal/Couple questionnaires are NO joke. Even if there are stickers, hearts, or crayon designs. You take these bridal shower tests as if you just sat down for standardized testing.|
Cake Knife (trust me on this, there's an old person that always buys this for the bride)
Bar accessories (wine charms so no one gets drunk off of someone else's glass, who cares, it's WINE!)
I personally put a happy face in some of my squares as a 'free' bingo X. I also left some boxes blank so I could fill them in at my leisure while gifts were being opened - cheating. Make sure everyone at your bridal shower table is cool with this cheating idea, otherwise you'll get the 'rolling of the eyes' or the 'you can't fill it in' verbal NOT OK and end up feeling like an idiot.
|Not my bingo card. Mine had a lot of cross-outs, happy faces (like the free little heart in the middle of this one) and very messy handwriting which I blame on my 2nd glass of red wine. |
It was a shiraz, I couldn't say no.
5. Face cake, don't request a piece of the bride's face in front of the relatives. They just won't get your humor. First of all, I love my friends to pieces. And I love cake. I'm going to request at my funeral that my family put my face on the biggest sheet cake because any amount of flowers or fancy pants fondant cannot compare to face cakes.
I hope the rest of the aunts, mother-of-the-bride/mother-of-the-groom/fellow friends, cousins, etc had as much fun as I did. If red velvet cake was the option for the bridal shower, this could mean big things for the bachelorette party and even bigger things for the actual wedding! That is, if I'm still invited. I hope.
|I'm hoping this sad puppy face gets me out of any trouble I might be in. But c'mon, cheating |
on bridal bingo and screaming out the wrong color can't be THAT bad. Right? Right?